I love you dearly, Darling Wife, I truly do.
But, how come when you wake up each day
you don't look like women on TV, and in movies too,
who arise with every hair in place, looking fresh in every way?

Awakening, you look the product of a rough night!
Your hair, sticking out this way and that, is a real mess.
Your eyes are all puffy, and somehow don't seem to focus right.
You're not all happy and alert but need another hour's sleep, I'd guess.

I've watched many women awaken in shows on TV.
None of them ever resembled your usual morning scene,
And I've never heard them say "Outta my way. I need to pee."
Not one of them ever growls "Don't talk until I've had my caffeine."

I shouldn't complain; within an hour you're always fine.
Not every woman can wake up singing "Let's rise and shine".
Besides, when I look at myself in the mirror, what do I usually see?
A sight each morning that makes me exclaim "Good Lord! Look at me!"