I reluctantly HAD to wage war upon the vile beast –
my neighbors’ black cat that came repeatedly to feast
by stalking and killing birds eating at my feeders,
turning ‘my’ beautiful backyard birds into bleeders.

At first I would merely run out and shout “Scat!”
The evil black cat seemed quite amused by that.
Next I sicced my Corgi, Rusty – too slow, too old –
on him. The cat escaped easily, to return so bold.

Rusty, ever valiant as all dogs are, gave it a good go,
but all concerned quickly realized it was just for show.
So then I remembered that I still own an old BB gun.
One shot in his rear hip should send him on the run!

Alas, it was too far, and I was not a good enough shot.
Despite several attempts I was able to hit him not.
That’s when I got my genius idea – a true brainstorm!
(Getting such brilliant ideas for me is quite the norm.)

If I couldn’t banish the cat, I simply had to get rid
of his safe haven under the cedar tree where he hid,
where among its low branches he waited undetected
until he rushed out and with some poor bird connected.

An electric grid under the tree should shock some sense
into that black cat! With glee at my plan, I did commence.
The grid now installed, I waited for the killer cat to appear.
Before long, he was in place. I flipped the switch. Oh, dear…

I guess the current was a tad too high. I truly never tried,
but the cat wasn’t just shocked. No, he was totally fried!
My neighbors didn’t take to a blackened kitty all that well.
Where they told me to go…well, I’d really rather not tell.