Yesterday my wife went on a shopping spree.
Penney’s was having a 30 percent off sale, you see.
It was enough to make the women shove and yell.
My wife saved hundreds of dollars, which was swell.

She wrote all the checks contained in our checkbook.
When I went to insert a new book of checks...look!
You now have to order by calling a 1-800 number.
So I called, was put on hold until I began to slumber.

Awakened by the voice of someone actually alive,
I tried to place an order for checks but was denied.
Seems the bank had changed the code for my account,
and now they wouldn’t give me checks for any amount.

This morning I stopped by the bank to straighten out
the mess, getting there early so no one else was about.
Two ladies were busy putting up Halloween decorations,
one was on a personal call...I began to feel aggravation.

A fourth lady walked by and said “We’ll be with you soon.”
I stood, waiting ten minutes, now hoping to be done by noon.
One lady looked up and said “Have you signed in so we’ll know
in what order to take the customers?” There were none... no

other customers waiting, but I went and signed at top of the list.
Another ten minutes goes by, me thinking of the time I’ll miss
from work. Finally one lady goes, looks at the list, loudly calls my
name. I’m there alone! Should I laugh at this absurdity or cry?

I explain I need more checks, but by phone they won’t re-supply.
She checks and says they have changed the code, don’t know why.
But she can get some new checks ordered for me. With my account
they are still free, although I will be charged this new small amount

for handling fee, only $5. If my free checks are now going to start
costing me a $5 fee, how is that free, since with money I’ll part??
The checks are free. There’s just a fee, you see. Huh? “Trust me,
your checks are still free. We’ve just instituted this handling fee.....”