Now that I have gotten to be old and fat,
my diet needs to be healthy -- simple as that.
No longer am I allowed to consume real butter.
For heart and arteries it's far, far better
if I use an artificial butter substitute,
even if it causes me to belch and to poot.
All my foods must be salt-free, fat-free,
cholesterol-free, and sugar-free, you see.
The last time I was allowed to eat food fried,
I got so happy and excited I nearly cried.
These diet restrictions have reduced my waist.
They should ...since they removed all the taste!