My neighbor told me this when at
the mailbox we happened to meet.
There on the curb my neighbor sat,
looking glum and staring at his feet.

“I’ve just had a morning straight from Hell.
I awoke and ran to the bathroom with diarrhea.
My wife was worried. ‘What’s wrong, pray tell?’
I distinctly said a dose of diarrhea. She heard gonorrhea!

She became quite angry, then was hurt and cried.
When asked how she thought I could have a sexual disease
since there is no man any more faithful than I, she said I lied,
that lately in my sleep I moan “Oh, Jan” as plainly as you please.

But I have never even known a Jan…well now, other than
that Jan whom I knew a couple of times some thirty years
ago in high school. Now I must devote days to seeing if I can
convince the wife that nothing is taking place, to assuage her fears.

Her change of life, her raging hormones have turned her into a nut!
To top it off, my diarrhea has my fanny as red as a baboon’s butt.”